The World Trade Center

by darcelle infante

I met her one summer at my son’s house. She had a quality that was both sad and carefree. Her husband told me that she’d had a rough life; she’d been depressed for so long now that it was making his life miserable. I tried to understand but it was hard for me because I could see no reason why she should be sad. She seemed to have everything: a handsome husband, a sweet child, a home and a family. I finally decided to share my story with her.

I’m 80 years old and my life has been hard. I’ve lived through the death of two sons and a husband.  My husband was a problem. He was very old-fashioned and wouldn’t let me drive. I worked for the telephone company for many years after giving up my childhood dream to be a fashion designer. My father left my mother. At the time, I was designing clothes and doing well but I had to get a job to help support my mother and family. My husband and I used to dance in competitions. We did the Lindy. I’ve done it all.

My first son died of cancer in his forties. He had always been trouble—drugs, alcohol; he was a handful. I’m not sure why. Maybe he had some problems with his Dad. My daughter did and married the first guy she went out with in high school. She did it to get out of the house. He’s a good guy but she never gives him credit for anything. They live together like roommates now. Maybe the problems with my husband hurt her also because she’s an alcoholic. She’s been in recovery for 11 years. My first son wasn’t so lucky.

When he died I said: God took him. He was a problem so even though it was sad, maybe there was a reason. Everything happens for a reason, you know that. But Ritchie, he was gold. Since his death sometimes I just sit and rock back and forth. He died in the September 11th bombing of the Trade Center.

The World Trade Center, it touched so many all over the world. I was really angry for awhile. Angry at the people who did it. I’m still in therapy. I’m not angry anymore. Ritchie was on the 108th floor. They say anyone over the 86th floor turned to liquid from the heat—their bones and everything fluid. Ritchie made it down the first time, in 1993 when they bombed the garage. He walked down 108 floors and stopped to help a woman with a broken leg on the way down.

On September 11th, he called Ronnie. He told them to tell Ronnie to get out, that he was trying to make it down like he did in ’93. Ronnie was waiting for him at the bottom the first time. It was hard on Ronnie, they are twins. They were so close.

My daughter called me. She said, “Mom, I don’t want you to worry. It happened again like in ’93. I said, “What?”

“Mom, look at the TV,” she said. By 3:30, I figured I’d lost both of them. Look at me, I’m so small. Can you believe I had twins? At 3:35 the phone rang. I said: Nobody get that, it’s Ritchie. “Ritchie, you got out,” I said into the phone.

“Mom, don’t say that. It’s Ronnie. I’m still looking for him.” They never found his body. It was hardest on Ronnie. But he says that Ritchie is still inside of him and when we look at him, we know it’s true. Sometimes Ronnie dreams of Ritchie or hears his voice. The strangest things happen, as if Ritchie is saying, “See, I’m still here with you.”

You know the twins, Peter and Paul? Paul was Ritchie’s friend. After he died those twins took Ronnie right under their wing. They slept with him. Ritchie and Ronnie; Peter and Paul—both sets of twins. Can you imagine how close they were? Everything happens for a reason. You know that don’t you? Paul arranged for Ronnie to take Ritchie’s place. None of the other brokers opposed Paul’s request. Now Ritchie works with those twins.

I don’t know how I keep going sometimes. I moved to Florida. I thought that was very brave. My grandson Michael, my first boy’s son, needed me. I guess that’s how I do it. I just keep myself going.

I hope my story helped that young woman. Maybe after hearing my story, she'll see that her life isn't as bad as she thinks it is. Everyone suffers but God is great. Things happen for a reason. It's being with good people that makes everything easier. If you stay alone, you don't know about other people. Sharing stories can help. She made our holiday special. When I see Ronnie talking to them, that young woman and her family, I know he's trying to help someone else and that makes him feel better. They helped him too during this special holiday. Ronnie's helping that family because they are friends of Paul and Peter and because Paul and Peter helped him. That makes everything better. That made this Fourth of July special. I think they understand.